Sunday, August 2, 2009

First day at the office

My idea for this blog is an ongoing story about individuals who work at a fictitious food company. This blog tales place in the Pink Foods Universe and each post tells part of the story.

“Emma, there are Netzel’s Blue Pretzels instead of Petty’s Petite Pretzels in the 7 Delights party mix!” exclaimed Hubert Jones, a short, portly man with sandy blond hair who was wearing a rather worn tan suit with a blue shirt and green tie. I was 50 minutes into my first day as a Food Scientist at Pink Foods and after arriving 15 minutes early to be greeted by a less than interested human resources staffer who did not make eye contact with me once in 45 minutes of tax, health insurance and non disclosure agreement checklists I was shown to a cubicle in the center of a large room. Around the expansive room with walls that were painted in the company’s patented PinkTink shade, which they had commissioned a very high profile artist to be inspired by in the late 80’s, there were labs with one or two technicians in white lab coats. Each was sitting at a small desk with barely enough room for a computer, keyboard, mouse and notebook looking as if they might scream if I so much as looked in their direction.

Observing their workspace I glance around my seemingly spacious cubicle to observe that I had a computer, several binders that were empty except for brightly colored, PinkTink of course, separator tabs, two staplers, an oversized calculator, pens, pencils and a motivational poster instructing me to give 110% every day, no matter what. Unfortunately, my desk was arranged so that anyone that walked by could easily see what I was doing and what I was looking at on the computer, so much for a little online shopping at work, a girl can dream.

I had recently accepted the Food Scientist position at Pink Foods, the world’s third largest manufacture of all things ingestible from Timmy’s tater tots (from freezer to table in ten minutes or less!) to 45 Days to Weight Loss frozen meals/bars/desserts to their top seller, 7 Delights party mix (Petty’s Petite Pretzels, Magic O’s, cashews, coconut, raisins, sesame sticks and potato squares with a hint of lime plus 457 other highly popular food products. I had just graduated magna cum laude from Cornell University with a Masters degree in the elusive field of Food science. I am originally from Nebraska where my mother and father still live and never cease to call me to make sure that I have not forgotten to eat, sleep or anything in between. I made the move from Ithaca after graduate school to Philadelphia, the current international headquarters for Pink Foods.

So there I was, Emma Swathson, in my newest and perfectly tailored black suit with a pink blouse that complimented my blue eyes, black heals with curly blond hair that reached just past my shoulders, sitting at my cubicle wondering what the hell I was supposed to be doing now that I was here. Now that I was no longer a student that could come and go as I pleased as long as I had my research done when my professor asked for it. What was so hard about the working world, I had been here 50 minutes without so much as having to think of anything harder than my social security number and date of birth, how hard could this be?

Just as I was day dreaming of the perfect robin’s egg blue to paint my kitchen walls Hubert Jones, huffed into my cubicle and enlightened me to the current pretzel fiasco. “Three people have found Netzel’s Blue Pretzels in 7 Delights party mix in the past day instead of Petty’s Petite Pretzels and more are sure to come”. I heard a muffled “hear we go again” from the cubicle to my left and just then Hubert shouted “Stacy get over here now”. Just like that a very tall, very thin woman with stick straight brown hair, brown eyes, cream khaki pants, a blue crewneck sweater and sensible flats came over and introduced herself as Stacy Plonson. She had been with Pink Foods for three years. She graduated from the University of Arkansas with a Bachelors degree in Food Science and was also a Food Scientist. Hubert instructed Stacy to fill me in on the 7 Delights brand and dilemma and for us to both meet him in his office in 15 minutes.

1 comment:

  1. Fabulous, Effie! Oops, I mean Emma. Can't wait to read more! Isn't writing about what you do fun? Can turn the mundane into magnificent - and make you enjoy what you do more when you entertain others. I'm going to go put you on my blogroll.